Sunday, April 10, 2011

Boat, Helicopter, Sympathy

First let me say, I am not writing this for sympathy. I am writing this as one person experience to death with this disease.  Everyone story is different,  but there is simply no information out there.  I have had a good ordinary life, with an ordinary family.  I am simply not done yet and I hope God agrees.

The Boat & Helicopter,
A believer in God is stuck in a flood and on the roof of his house.   Pretty soon along comes a boat and ask the man to get in.  He answers No thank you, I believe in God and he will save me.   A while later a helicopter comes along and hollars for the man to grab the rope to be hoisted up. Again he answers no thank you, I believe in God and he will save me.  The man drowns.  When he gets to heavens gate he ask, Why did you let me drown, I believed and I follow your commandments and did what you said. The anwers was I sent you a boat and a helicopter.

I can see now that on Tuesday when I was in such a bad way, the telephone call from MaryEllen was my boat.  The call from Terri Neely and visit was my helicopter.   Same with Wednesday when I was still in such a bad way.  Rev Beth was my helicopter.  I had been sitting on my couch saying to myself, I don't want to be alone and along came Rev Beth and she stayed 3 hours.  What a gift I had been given.

I know the disease has progressed since January when I was given the 3 to 4 month prognosis, but not to the point that I am on a collision course to dying just yet.  I am using 8 LPM of oxygen, my feet tingle, my neourapathy in my hand from the cancer treatment is raging and I am easily  more tired.  I have decided through that I will fight through those things, stay off the pity potty and live , live my life until such time as I can't.  I made my book marks I had been thinking about.  I started reading again as I had been wanting to do.  Today I took my oxygen and walker and the dog and we went for a walk.

I had company this afternoon, Frank, Rose (she has MS) and my daughter Leah and granddaughter Katherine.   Am I tired, yep worn out actually, but I feel wonderful. I had a great day and enjoyed the company. Thank you for the visit.

I was thinking back today and I think maybe I have had this disease for neigh on 10 years, but diagnosis was not until 2009.  I remembered one of the reasons we moved here was to get away from stairs.  What I don't remember is wether that was because my legs were bad with PAD or breathing was the reason.  At diagnosis they gave me 3 to 5 years.  I absolutely believe that screwing around with the prednosine has accerbated the progression.

Good nite all it was a beautiful day here in Michigan.  Remember we are all blessed.